Twitterology

Twitter seems to get more people into trouble than anything else these days.

I guess the world just isn't ready for that technology. I often imagine George Washington tweeting about his mixed feelings before a battle, Abraham Lincoln tweeting what he thought about the "dank" play his wife was dragging him to see, or Harriet Tubman posting her whereabouts while liberating slaves. These tweets would be out of character for these historical figures, of course, but we adapt to our environments, and not always in our best interests. I'll never understand why a congressman would tweet a photo of his "Netherlands" to someone, but that happened in our world's timeline, probably even more than the time(s) we all found out about.

A luddite is apparently is against technology. I wouldn't call myself a luddite because I grew up playing video games, invested enough hours in them to call some of their settings second homes.

I also like typing what I write (a typewriter won't do-- I edit the hell out of my stuff). I will say that the direction technology is going is getting unsettling. All my child development teachers say the same thing about children... they're addicted to iPads.

And that's a shame because those parasites sap the life out of you. I'm talking about iPads, not children.

iPad? Fuh Q.

What's wrong with iPads? They're not hurting anybody. Yeah, but they're weird. As a guy who's used to typing on a real keyboard, watching movies on a tube t.v., and playing video games with ergonomic controllers instead of my greasy fingers on a smudged screen, it's just a stretch. But I'm not going to get into reasons you should boycott Apple products (even though you should). You see, I think all tablets are janky. And shoving your face into a screen instead of admiring your surroundings is an easy way to cheat yourself out of life.

Then again, this is all coming from a guy who loves posting close-up photos of furniture and still has Flappy Bird on his phone. I still have goddamn Flappy Bird on my phone.

If only the maker made something more original. I suggest "Flappy Bird Kart".